Life: A Note to Self (Shared)

… turn inwards and go on a detox of self. Your head is not completely straight and it’s not a good habit to hop from one relationship into another: the new object of your affection will probably end up a rebound – someone you were attracted to in response to something you lacked in your last relationship, but who may not otherwise be the right person for you. The last thing you want to do is hurt another person. Remember how bad it felt the last time around… and how utterly undeserved it was by her.

Rediscover how to be alone within your own space and how to appreciate your own space without craving another person’s time, attention or affection. Focus for a little while on your own life and where it is headed. Build yourself. Throw yourself into your work, as well as all the things that you have going on the side. Clear your debts and deficits. Live up to your shirked responsibilities. If you have none, find some.

Go out. Meet new people. Not with a view towards finding a companion: just enjoy and appreciate other people, whether individually or in groups. Be fun and have fun. If sex somehow gets in the way of that – or puts pressure on you to move in one person’s direction – then cut that out too. If only for awhile.

The funny thing is that when you are least in need of someone else and at your most single-but-content, you will look up from your self-absorbtion to find yourself surrounded by some genuinely interesting people.

Most importantly, you will have a clear enough head to make a decision as informed by your heart as it is by your head and your soul.

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